Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Excuses

I made excuses from the very beginning
sometimes for me
but always for you
always
because I saw what you could be
what it could be
what we could be
together
saw that you just needed uplifted
that you just needed help
that you just needed me
and what I could offer
and more
to take you back to what was there
what should be there
all things being equal and fair

I made excuses
and waited for the better
that I don’t want to admit is never coming
that I am the only one wanting
that I am the only one hoping for
In my selfish selflessness I wanted you to be
for me
and you
the great I saw
the great you have
buried
ignored
fought against
for more time than I can imagine
pointing fingers ever outwards them them them
and even now
you point at me
it’s my fault

sometimes something so broken can never be fixed
not my words
everyone else sees that
I don’t
I don’t
and you’re determined to prove me wrong
I thought you were something more
and I’m right
but you’ll prove me wrong
because then you’ll be right
and I’ll know better
and carry that wound
your sorrow will travel with me
and that’s on you
for staying stuck
for not leaping when I said I’d catch you
I don’t even know if you’ll see
someday
what might have been
your loss
your loss
your loss

so sad

Thursday, July 02, 2015

Flower

I opened to you
like a flower to the sun
drawn to your heat
after the cold dark of the night
I opened to you
by instinct
need
and programming
Universal language

open

to

sun

I awakened

followed you as you crossed the sky
til night
then I closed up again
a bow of patience as the dusk settled in
and I wait
breathing calm
for your sun
to shine
again