Wednesday, August 12, 2015


please touch my soul
please fill this longing I have for love and connection and
damn good orgasms
because they're all tied together for me you see
and I want to feel a soul touching mine
as a body
touches mine
I want to ride waves of otherworldly truths
and feel safe in a love that doesn't need to be tied to small words
little days

I want expansiveness
and our own world
energies fuelling and complimenting and bursting forth
to be seen
and to give more love outwards
a calm knowing
no need to prove anything to anyone
just being
always touching
a hand
an arm
a leg against a leg
all of it sexual
and sensual
but there is more to this than just sex
because places can be more than just places
and sometimes two people are more together than their separate selves would be
and I want to connect that way
and for it all to be one and the same

so if for a time
an hour
a day
a week
if for that time
we could be more than just what is?
my love
could fill a lifetime
with memories and remembrances and connection

I know there's something more out there
I've touched it
had glimpses,
and maybe you
and maybe us
can be that
will be that
because wouldn't that be lovely?
wouldn't that be wonderful?
to sit
and feel
and know
and connect
for real
for real
for real?

I want to know
what you feel like
to touch
and be with
not just in person
but in that space beyond
when bodies make energy
that electrifies
and melts
and creates
and expands
so touch me
touch me and we will discover and see
and we will play
and love
and fuck
and glow
and we will sit
wrapped together
more than we came in with

Tuesday, August 04, 2015

We Choose This Cave

You know we're real, right?
Behind these photos and these words and posts and quips
we're real

real people
who feel 
and laugh
and see things and endure pain and yes
if you prick us
we will bleed

red blooded we exist
in a reality that is separate
from that which we see here
which is separate again
from that which we who listen know to be true

it's a woven truth
tapestries formed 
silkscreens made
the colours bleed
form a storyline unintentionally real

all shadows
consciousness and virtual
I can see you here
and know you not
sometimes more real
than face to face
desert dry
dusty couches
there is an energy to cerebral connection
tap tap tapping away at a keyboard
and sometimes
when I know it's honest and given
it transfers 
a tingling line of energy from screen
to mind
and soul
and sometimes
I find soul friends as they write their words
through windows yet unguarded

it's been years now
of sitting exposed
yet wide open for consumption
to a chosen few

we're real, you know
we've been told "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain"
but that's who I'm looking for
that's who's fascinating
I see through it all
I see through your smoke and mirrors
because your words tell me things

we're real behind our words
our virtual actions
we are both separate from
and emerging through our conversations in this medium

and these are my words
there are many like them
but these words are mine

I hide
in a way that leaves me far too real
for there is no hidden me
my words expose me
and your words
when you let them
show me

so speak on
be real
I see you

or I will
with time
because I know you're real
behind this dot matrix two toned screen of collective smokescreens
Plato ain't got nothing on us

Monday, August 03, 2015


fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

when you stab something repeatedly
you don't get to look surprised when it bleeds 
you don't get to tell it to stop bleeding
you don't get to be offended
when it suggests you might be part of the problem

you don't get to be hurt when it walks away
dripping blood, tasting bile

you won't believe you did it
you can't see you poison stab devour crush
and only see what you want to see

I know the pain's too much
truth hurts reality bites I know
so the gift I give you?
the mercy I show?
the softness you may never know I coated you with?  
I will see this truth and know it
and I will keep it from you
I will keep from you
the pain you served me
the blood you drew

because bless the grandmothers
and the grandmothers' grandmothers
and the steel core, fire hardened, of the men and women who bear my blood
because I am strong enough to take the truth and let it go
without needing you to taste it see it feel it 
choke on it
know it

I will give you
higher power
merciful woman

but no more stabbing
no more no more no more

I see your weapon
hidden in the giving hand

no more defensive blocking

slice me not

step away

step back

out of reach

my blood stays in me now


Saturday, August 01, 2015

Last Week Was A Rough Week

I really want you
and I could say that it's not you I want
I can try to tell myself
(and you) 
that it's just a craving
just a want
and that you're merely a convenient recipient of that want
there's something about you
(even if it is just timing)
(which I don't think it is)
there's still something about you

that mental hook went in
you flipped some switch 

right or wrong

and even though I don't know how to get us naked together
can't seem to break through that mental wall
of nerves
and the newness of you
I want to

I crave it in the strangest way

my heart feels nothing
my head is wary
but the rest of me?
the core of me?
the deep down and dirty makes me feel so good part of me?

it wants