Even If You Can't

the late afternoon light is falling sideways

catching the leaves on fire

as a half moon hangs in the sky 

I would have loved you forever

but you saved me the trouble

so if she asks you again

point her in my direction

because I have the answers to her question now

my insight into you

being clearer than either of us ever intended it to be

there's a difference between what you said

and what you're doing

but you're allowed to do what you want

that's your right

and I'm allowed to forgive myself

for loving you beyond the scope of who you are right now

I'm allowed to forgive myself

for seeing more

in the name of love

and I'm allowed to forgive myself

for believing the best of someone

who is not ready to be that

yet

I'm allowed to give myself credit

for holding my tongue

and allowing what will come

to teach you

what you wouldn't learn 

from me

with love

because that's what I know

that's what I know best

and let me be real

I can't take it back

moons wax and wane

leaves denude the trees for winter

but I will love you always

despite it all

and I don't know yet 

if that's my greatest strength

or biggest failing