Friday, December 04, 2015

Even If You Can't

the late afternoon light is falling sideways
catching the leaves on fire
as a half moon hangs in the sky 

I would have loved you forever
but you saved me the trouble
so if she asks you again
point her in my direction
because I have the answers to her question now
my insight into you
being clearer than either of us ever intended it to be

there's a difference between what you said
and what you're doing
but you're allowed to do what you want
that's your right
and I'm allowed to forgive myself
for loving you beyond the scope of who you are right now

I'm allowed to forgive myself
for seeing more
in the name of love
and I'm allowed to forgive myself
for believing the best of someone
who is not ready to be that

I'm allowed to give myself credit
for holding my tongue
and allowing what will come
to teach you
what you wouldn't learn 
from me
with love

because that's what I know
that's what I know best
and let me be real
I can't take it back
moons wax and wane
leaves denude the trees for winter
but I will love you always
despite it all
and I don't know yet 
if that's my greatest strength
or biggest failing

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