Upstanding

My silence
is more to do with social media
than a lack of ...

what... admission?

I am angry that I have to join in on the chorus of
#MeToo
and the tear inducing
#IBelieveYou

And while I hold my sisters in the space of love we embody
I reach out too to my brothers
my brothers in arms who are stepping out to say they too
have been on the receiving end of
sex
used as a weapon
sex
used as a tool
sex
used as a means to an end
sex
used as power
sex
used to trap
to hurt
to belittle
to wound

There's no way to make this better today
this goes far beyond a hashtag
far beyond
spreading the word
of how many we are

this doesn't end with

a scandal

a firing

a call out for change

this goes so damn deep

but I digress.

I haven't said #MeToo because I hate the fact that I can
I haven't said #MeToo because I hate the fact I didn't deserve it
I haven't said #MeToo because there's still shame
I haven't said #MeToo because I. Don't.  Want.  To.

I'm sorry for the pain
the pain that something that can and should be so loving
so beautiful
so amazing and joyful and fun
is used
and abused
in this way
by both sides

and always has been

and is allowed.

I'm sorry for anyone who is surprised by the voices
the chorus of strength
and support

I'm sorry if your view of the world has been bruised
by the truth of how so many people
are saying
#MeToo

So don't take my silence
as me being the 1 in 10.
Take my silence as me
keeping my cards
close to my chest
and me
wanting very much
to not be defined
by someone else's choice.

#BreakTheCycle